Jerry, we still remember you!

Today is December 24, 2012. Exactly, one year ago, Jerry gave me some herb seeds as a Christmas gift. 

I'm sure that we'll have a very White Christmas this year because I'm now watching the snow dancing in the air through the window. 

White snow...  I suddenly remembered Jerry and my eyes start to hurt. Tears roll down to my lips. A kind of guilt?! I should have been more kind to Jerry. I couldn't imagine Jerry would leave this world so quickly.  

When I cooked something special, I shared it with Jerry. I knew that Jerry didn't cook often. I think Jerry felt sorry and wanted to do something for me. It was a snowy day. When I got up early one morning last winter, I heard someone shoveling my driveway. Yes, I was right. I saw through the window Jerry was shoveling the snow before my house. Isn't it kind & sweet? 

I wish Jerry would have a wonderful Christmas too. We still miss him. 

Human Ties

In Asia there is a word that means ‘human ties’. This word literally means there is an invisible thread or tie between people. For that reason we meet certain people in this world. Our meeting is not an accident, but an inevitable encounter based on such ties.

The ‘ human tie’ can be positive or negative. When we meet someone with whom we have positive tie, we can be good friends or support each other. When we meet someone having the negative tie, we may become enemies to harm each other.

I think I had such positive and good tie with “B” and “T”. When Jerry was suddenly died, all neighbors and I were shocked and puzzled. “Why?” was the first reaction of us.  With time I felt some guilty… I should have helped or supported Jerry more. I tried to be nice and kind to him and we had shared good times. When I grilled in my backyard, I always shared it with Jerry. But I didn’t know Jerry had such enormous passion to the cooking and art. If I had known it, I would have shared more time and supplies for cooking and art with Jerry. Anyway… my relationship with Jerry was ended all of a sudden. But who knew? A new relationship began from Jerry’s death. I met “B”, Jerry’s sister. And I met “T”, the daughter of “B”. I think it was time our good ties showed up in this life. They’re kind and sweet and have no will/ ability to harm someone. They truly helped me a lot to get rid of Frankie from my family and me. Of course, I value our relationship and good ties. But that’s why I am concerned about Frankie and don’t want to do too much against him. I don’t want to make unnecessary negative tie with Frankie. When I think of meeting Frankie in the next life, I’m scared and get goosebumps.

Court Hearing II

The reason why life is daring is because life is unpredictable. Can you believe that Frankie didn't appear to the hearing although he himself filed the motion? If he didn’t want to show up, why did he file the motion? Just to annoy or harass me?

Today I went to the court to keep PPO. I found that “T” was already there for me. Isn’t it nice and kind of her? Anyway…  It was 9:00 am. My eyes kept staring at the courtroom door. What if Frankie appears? But he didn’t enter the door. I anxiously waited for the judge, but the judge didn’t show up. 10 o’clock… 11 o’clock… Frankie didn’t come into the courtroom. “T” told me, “What if Frankie comes to your house?” Oh… no way… But wait a minute… we all are here, in this courtroom and Frankie knows well that my house is vacant now. Gaaak… Finally the judge showed up and sat on the bench. My case number was so behind. People were arguing before the judge. One man argued that the woman bit him and the woman argued that she got hit until her eyes were blurred. Anyway… there were many human stories. Now it was my turn. Since Frankie didn’t appear, I could keep my PPO without argument. Thank God.

Can you imagine? “T” asked her mom “B”, so the old lady “B” patrolled my house 2 times when we were in the court. Maybe it sounds funny or paranoid. But Frankie was a source of our fear and frustration and we want to be safe. I don’t know how I can show my appreciation to “B” and “T”.

Court Hearing

We feel angry when someone hurts us or treats us unfairly. When I think of Frankie, honestly, I feel angry. One of my most disliked things is to waste time. I waste so much time and energy because of Frankie. Tomorrow I have to appear to the court because Frankie filed a Motion to vacate PPO (Personal Protection Order). Frankly if Frankie has no intention to come back to me to harm or hurt me, what is the reason of his filing of Motion to lift PPO? It’s really stressful and time consuming to prepare for the court hearing. And why should I spend another couple of hours in the court due to Frankie? But I have heard that a Russian squatter was stamped to death by the property owner.  His dead body was found 11 days after his death. I’m not sure if the property owner was charged for a murder. Compared to that, isn’t Frankie lucky enough to be here? Anyway… I wish I can keep PPO at tomorrow hearing. 

Criminal Mind

What is a criminal mind? With good reasons, I had to bump into Frankie many times, and the acts of Frankie were truly ill and repulsive. But many of Frankie’s acts were perfectly legal, although he crossed the border numerous times. I asked myself many times, “What makes the acts of Frankie perfectly legal?”

In modern society we’re judging crime based on the man-made rules and laws. When someone breaches the rules or laws, s/he is guilty for a crime. But we all know human life is not so simple and with that reason we have great sympathy to Jean Valjean and consider “Les Misérables” one of the greatest novels, since it gives us a good opportunity to think about laws. I also want to point out that law lacks morals and the ability to consider the complicated human circumstances.

American rules and laws allow squatting. Frankie was supported by laws and protected under the wing of those laws. Thanks to Frankie, I realized how a crime could be perfectly legal. No matter what the law says, Frankie’s acts were based on the criminal mind. I want to ask again, “What is a criminal mind?”

Criminal Mind is an ill will to harm or hurt someone although there is a way to opt out. Criminal Mind tends to create hells unnecessarily. His/her ill acts are not coming from human instinct to survive or from a basic urgent necessity. For example, a soldier kills an enemy on the battlefield. We don’t call him a murderer, not only because he was empowered to kill enemy, but also because his situation is urgent survival situation - if he doesn’t kill his enemy, he must be killed. But when a soldier kills an unarmed civilian without an acceptable reason, we call him a murderer because there exists a way not to do so and it is his willful choice and abuse.

With the above reason, I believe that Frankie’s acts were made by criminal mind. If Frankie had no job, no place to go, and was in urgent need, we cannot simply call his squatting criminal. But Frankie’s squatting was not made in urgent need. Most of all, when I asked him to move out, Frankie became well aware of that my family and I suffer from his squatting and threatening.

However, Frankie acted as if it was his right to squat in my house and intentionally gave as much damage as possible. Today’s laws cannot distinguish between “criminality” and “illegality.” Frankie’s acts based on the criminal mind and its criminality was perfectly legal until he threw the fuel on us and was finally charged.

Laws alone cannot lead our society. Again Criminal Mind wants to create hells unnecessarily on our earth. What is our counter act? Where is our counter power?

American Squatter

When I had to struggle to pay the bloody rent every single month, I asked myself numerous times, “Is housing a commodity or a basic right?”

Mostly we consider it in both ways. That’s why we agree to provide housing at below-market-rates to certain people in need. President Obama also once declared, “it is not acceptable for children and families to be without a roof over their heads in a country as wealthy as ours.”

I think America is one of the most ideal places in the world to squat. In America, squatting has either been tacitly permitted (policemen not evicting squatters) or openly accepted (some cities placing portable toilets and security guards near encampments, a Congresswoman encouraging squatting in foreclosed homes).

Of course, living as a squatter is not always an easy option. Some are squatting in a poor condition property – no water, no power, no toilet, the bath in the kitchen and winter is unbearably cold. But like my squatter Frankie, some are enjoying a free living in a fully furnished house, having hot water, heating and power. Frankie threatened me to stay away, not allowed me to access the house while his utility bills were stacked up to me. He not only enjoys using utilities, he can use them for free while the property owner pays for everything. When I cut the grass, he either called the police against me as a trespasser, or enjoyed my work sitting on the porch smoking his cigarette.

Some squatters like Frankie attempt to take over private homes, temporarily left vacant, and enrage the sense of fair play. Such valuable & generous opportunity (Squatting) shall not be abused to protect the innocent & genuinely needy squatters.

Is Squatting a Movement for Housing Justice?

Right now 2 police officers came to me to investigate Frankie’s PPO violation. They’ll issue a warrant against Frankie due to his willful PPO violation. I told them that it would be basically a simple matter if Frankie moved out peacefully and expressed my sorry for wasting so much public money due to this case. (The police came to my house over 20 times) The police laughed and said, “You’re the first person who worries about public money.” Anyway… they said a warrant against Frankie would be issued.

I want to forget Frankie, but my situation doesn’t let me to forget.

I myself once had such difficult time to pay the rent. Every month I had to pay about one third of my income just for the living space and it was pain. But when I ask myself, “Will you squat in someone’s house?”, my answer is, “Maybe no.” The reason of my “No” is not only based on my lack of ability or courage.

America is one of the richest countries, accustomed to surplus. We have a surplus of food, clothes, materials and a surplus of real estate. 14 percent of living units in America are vacant at the end of 2010 with some reason. Families and individuals who can no longer afford the cost of living may throw a question, “Why not use them?” But I want to throw a question, “What if the property owner doesn’t give you consent?” I’ll make clear that when the owner gives consent, it’s not squatting anymore.

Most of Americans have a surplus of food, clothes or materials in their basement or garage. Can we use them just because the owner doesn’t use it now? Can we step into their garage and grab something with an excuse they don’t use it? We don’t and we can’t. Then why and how is such grabbing allowed for the real estate under the name “squatting”?  Can the basic right to personal space bloom based on the squatting? I don’t think so because a squatting is based on the damage and nuisance to the property owner. There exists no mutual consent. That’s why we need to create other and better options for the people who need a home.

When Frankie needs a home, he should have talked to me to find out a way. Frankie cannot just demand to live here. Can Frankie’s squatting be justified as a lawful movement for housing justice? I think not. Many historical revolutions began underground but none of them succeed when it’s unfair. Our history itself shows that justice always works with time.